Hey people i'll be on hiatus till things get better. It has been 1month i hope that things would be fine,after we think it through.But,always remember in my heart you are irreplacable.The text really shows that you care.But,i guess you need time to prove it,You're the light that light up my darkness.The one that truly understands me,perhaps after all this we will grow closer to each other.But,after this i hope i would not forget who you are.Okay,people miss me okay(:

Today morning i got up by the alarm clock to my surprise saw an sms.Really got so stoned by it dearest darling didnt imagine you really care so much i was so touched by that sms okay,on th way walking to dearest house i cried whenever i think of that sms.Then,met dearest hah same thing talk non-stop,till we reached school,haha i flunk my geography ST and i think probably gonna fail my Biology test on the Osmosis and Diffusion topic yeah.Then,changed went around th school with dardar for th cleanest classroom competition thing hah we are grading the classes cleanliness,running around sweating is real fun.Then,went for red-cross training on Outdoor silver hah not bad eh.Then.went to recap on evac gold and footdrill gold.Then,almost all th people in the school witness the NCC's changing of command post it was real cool man!Then,carried on with training and played captain's ball.Then,dismiss slack with Dardar&Yingxin hah we're bunch of crazy girls,went to council room and played the music super loud then went to play volley ball and etc.

Going to school is such a dreadful part of my life it is not the lesson nor is it the teachers but the people around me.Mummy,i am sad,I dont feel like going to school. I dont feel like coming home. I just completely gave myself up.The people around seems to change so tremedously that you dont recognise them it is real scary,everytime i face them they seems to be having an a familiar face but a very strange character to me.Unknown faces one after anotherEvery face feels like a sketch of yours.I wonder if i should carry on like this,perhaps one day i will just cry infront of you people which i dont wish to.I guess slowly i will just vanish in the surrounding as you people dont even felt my presence not going to care.Believe me i wont make you clash between the both of us,cause i have gave up cause i am no longer who i am.I am not the one that have change is you people.Who can i tell my feelings out,who can i really revealed out my ownself crying to elmo and cookiemonster that wont tell anything out.The only ones that i could believe and rely on.And just some stupid and inconsiderate people prank call me several times,please you are not a 3year old child stop doing such childish act.

Picture taken by:Xinyee(:

School wasnt really great it was raining cats and dogs well i change it it was raining Mushrooms&Golden retrievers hah,im the mushroom and Dearest is the golden retriever meetup with her then walked to the busstop to take bus,hah still we are wet yeah,lols.Today changed ezlink card omfg!My picture is super frugly it is like potato i cant stop laughing myself ewww!After school changed and meet xinyee at hougang mall cause im going to activate my ezlink card,rosamund and caiyun was also there walked rosamund to the busstop.Then,activate my ezlink card then caiyun went off,left me and xinyee went to her house then slack over there hah(:

I guess i really sucks now adays i felt so lost,im like so invisble to you never feel my existance,i cried today i guess i haven't really forgot things back then,i told myself not to look back in the end,i think about those times,it was the best days in 14years of my life,making you as friend i never had regretted really believe me,but ending this friendship was so painful.You're like a killer,the cold feeling you gave me is just like a knife that have stab into my heart.Okay i guess you wont understand how much you mean to me.forget it,history wont repeat itself,i just wanna smile like want i did in that picture hope the smile would last.

I was glad i eventually face up to the fact that we are no longer friends i dont take you as a friend anymore it is more like we're strangers that we've never met before.No longer part of my life,the friendship we had is fading apart i was glad you know,since it is so hard for us to be friends.Okay skipped that part,heh school was okay the screaming and shouting still going on yeah haha!Then,after school had WRCD training not bad but kind of tired,yeah juniors are juniors they are simply adorable yeah.Took the same LRT back with Junjie,chat along the way back he super cute in the way he talk.

The song Dearest dedicated to me(:

Hah,today all the hard work had paid off yeah(: Set up the mannequin that some of us had real work hard for it is really worth it staying back for about 3weeks doing it,and tomorrow is the big day isnt it exciting.Heh,then had study with Miss Yeap and Cheryl waited for both of them Rivervale Plaza yeah then at first was suppose to study then end up talking about school stuff and etc,especially talking about a particular topic which Miss Yeap finds it amazing of me meeting that person somehow she's super shock can,had a real great time over there ended up reached home at 10pm hah,got scolding by mum becasue of coming home so late,cant blame me for that hah!Gonna have plenty of rest and prepare for tomorrow(:

Im super tired today can,after Biology came back for langarts,im real tired after 30minutes of lessson fallen asleep through,heh but didnt get scolded cause most of my classmates were asleep yeah.Then,after school ran around the school to find source for the Service Learning project yeah,but some people just dont have the initative to help watching me doing things,these kind of people cant be bothered.Then,helped on doing the council notice board with the help of some of the sec1s',after that helped Miss Lim with the carnival stuff.Oh shit!IC Project is sucha disater lorh,im struggling to finish things up,hah hope that it could be done tonight yeah(: Hah,people come up to me and said that im HL milk's Girlf haha so cute(:

Hah,Stayed back in school for Service learning Project yeah.Im so tired okay satyed back together with yingxin's group doing our SL stuff,then i went alone to council room to finish up my poster.Then,today supposingly to have Red-Cross Marching day traning meand yingxin skipped the training today,sad yeah): Then,after finishing a few poster when out to watch Soccer match with Karen Low,heh then to the basketball court hah,then rushed back to find yingxin.She sprayed deoudouran all over me ewww): Hah,then rape her heh,no lah im not so demoralised(:

haha old blogskin back(:

What luck have i ran into today is such a disgusting day okay saw many creepy crawlings.Hah,on the way to school with dearest met up with a disgusting fat rat,how disgusting,i didnt know that rat chase people until dearest told me.I just step into school then there are people playing with my stupid short ponytail,yeah i know is ugly no choice have to tie it up): Yeah the next creepy crawling is RED ANTS!Can you imagine it is on the flag that im raising eww,crawling onto me then biting me awww!Yeah,had to run to the D&T studio for th mannequin thingy haha,the d&t teacher sympathy me,hah no choice after this week everything is over.After that,talk to the sec1s' cause im damn bored,hah then proceed with World Red-Cross Day training,kinda fun hah they were cute with their mistakes.Hah,then went home at ard 7pm,yeah skipped lunch and dinner i've found my new love HL milk(: Gonna buy plenty of them!

Back to school in a saturday morning is such a turnoff.The gate wasnt open at 7.30am i was like so annoyed,cause i thought i was late and i skipped breakfast and rush to school,little do i expect the schoolgate wasnt open,and there was just a huge crowd of people outside beacause of Service Learning&Project love Can.Yeah,haha many people loved the mannequin we did,so proud of our work hah some people took picture so funny it isnt the actual day and there is just great responses(: Hah,finally the hard work that we've put in had finally paid off.I was real tired listening to song and sleeping outside the hall's round table cool isnt it,such a tiring day.Yeah,it seems like many people is sick somehow,i caught flu and cough yeah,Super unlucky lorh supposingly to go out with xinyee&Co. then cant go cause that mother of mine confiscated my money.Im rotting at home,gonna be bored to death can i have some entertainment?

Meet Dearest in the morning,guess what it rain on the way it isnt drizzling but pouring yeah,then there was just a kind soul school girl which offer to share with me an umbrella which i dont find it any difference as im already damn drench form head to toe what's the point of having an umbrella?I looked like some kind of mad woman then comes out from the bathroom with dripping hair,how wonderful.Then,took bus with her to school,yeah went straight away to the toilet to dry my hair,which doesnt make any difference.The first two lessons are super relaxing Mr Leong and Mrs Lee didnt come,yeah i was glad things were back to normal(:

HEY,im in the holiday mood(: Yeah,went for breakfast with family,kinda reluctant to go somehow,no choice still have to go.Then,meeetup with dardar,Darling&clement chok to pass the money for the birthday gift i share with them for edwin(: Then,went to meet up with dearest!Went to tampines mall the bus is damn packed with people.Hah,dearest sponsored me with the bus fare and food thanks yeah(: Since a long time,i had an two on two outing with dearest(:

Didnt sleep for 2days already,problems dosent seems to solved.Who could i really depend on when i fall?Today Evacuation Gold i failed by one component just beacuse of this few days what had happened.I cant blame those problem but myself my mental toughness isnt there,but overall i had did my best,but still i wasnt in the good mood either 6people from my squad took the test 2people manage to pass,i blame myself so much that i had engross myself too much time in Service learning project that i have neglected my Evacuation Gold.No point crying over spilt milk have to try harded next time.Yeah,darling wait for me at tampines mall at 5pm+ i havent eat yet so she accompained me to eat,she cheered me up alot,because of her retardness.Yeah,things were back to the worst once i reached home.I didnt expect you to slap me,i cried tremedously you didnt know what stress im facing now.Just one more time,you wont see me in this house anymore or perhaps you wont even have a daugther like me,cause you dont think you deserve me at all.I told you parents were there to support me,but infact you add on to my stress and even slap me yeah,i fell real hard this time all thanks to you guys):I've crying my hearts out,i didnt seems to help,what's the point guess what my parents say:"you are just gaining sympathy!"i cant believe such things came out from their mouth.I took the courage to face the fact,i didnt runaway but look what i have really got back?

I am so depressed,Moodless and stressed out these few days.I cried for what's the use the commitment that i have made.I have stayed back for the whole of this week,yet what do i get stressed out every minute.Sine when did i ever pushed the blame to you,if ever i would do that i would not get my self crying every single minute be it after school or during duties.I seriously didnt know how to face you,you mademe change into a person that i could not even recognised,i have lost my myself.My face was moodless,stressed out&depressed no one dares to even joke with me.During duty,i even lost control ended up scolding sec1s' and crying,you would never ever feel that yourself.You still can smile and laugh yourself.On the way back to class,i seriously had lost my contro l bursting into tears.For you,i know that it is not worth it,but what's the use i lost my control.After school,managed to finish up 3 mannequin with the help of many people including Mr Lim thanks alot.Ended up,we screamed and fall out of our friendship i must say we were more than just friends a clique or even i regard as my brother but what has become of us,i dont want to know and those wish to know.I seriously want the old you back,and wanted myself to be back to my ownself.You were the one who back me up,but what has happened i really dont know.I have gave up myself,i thought i could hold my tears and emotion infact i wasnt as strong as what i have expected.

31march09,

Today i guess neither my backstreet babiesin the mood right now.But charming baby cheered me up alot in home-economics class yeah.And after school the whole the backstreet babies♥ went to Edgefield Primary school to coach Primary school Kids with Mathematics,yeah those kids were real cute it was fun teaching them.Yeah,on the way back Charming baby,was super harlirious doing his werid poses,Laugh real hard.Yeah,went back to School For SL,then went home with Darling.But,somethings seems to bother me yeah,becames so super low mood yeah):

1April,

Oh gosh people,today is april fool got so annoyed by their stupid jokes.Stayed back for SL,did finish,and yeah played with the pain with backstreet babies♥,thanks for your company babies(:And yeah,You better stop bringing misery to my friend dont take my friendlyness as a way to take advantage.